Throughout the seasons
by ciciwriter
Summary: Donna’s diary, thoughts about each episode, starting with the Pilot. Up Enemies! “You were great today, you worked hard like you always do, but you were also the inspiration I needed to find some light....I’m taking you to Shenandoah, grab your purse”.
1. The Pilot, day one

_Author's note: Well, this summer I became obsessed with WW, and the same day I went back to school the WB went back to showing the PILOT! I was so psyched to finally being able to see the 1st season, that I didn't care it is on daily at **midnight**, meaning I won't get much sleep for my classes._

_So, I wanted to write something about the WW since day one, and here we go: Donna's diary. I know this has been done before, but I hope some of you enjoy a kind of post-ep fic that will be written as I go through the series. Let's see how far I get, because I will have papers to write for college and so on._

_Also, this might get a little confusing if you don't remember very well these episodes, but I really wanted it to be Donna's diary, and I thought sometimes she would retell the events of the day, but sometimes she would just want to rant, like we all do some days._

_Finally, for some episodes that don't have much material of Donna's thoughts I will just put two or three days in the same chapter. Some days, like the first, get a chapter of their own._

_That's it. Sorry for long note, I had to explain myself. Of course I don't own a thing! And please review, I'm still pretty new at this. Thanks!_

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(The Pilot)

DAY ONE

Today was absolutely one of those days. I mean, the kind of day when I become more of a baby-sitter/mother rather than an assistant in the messy life of my so called boss: Josh Lyman.

I was really worried for him throughout the day, and he sure could tell because I did something that seemed rather unlikely to ever happen in that office; yeah, I brought a cup of coffee to the Deputy Chief of Staff of the White House.

What? It's not a crime! I know for a fact that 97 of all the assistants to senior staffers in government offices actually bring coffee in a daily basis to their bosses. And don't dare doubt my facts! Trust me, I know these stuff, though I don't know the percentage of assistants that get their bosses to change their shirts when they are in their worst whining phases.

Anyhow…Josh did something really dumb that he often does, and he did it on t.v.: he let the words out of his mouth without thinking twice. It really got him into trouble, and I was terrified that he could lose his job, that I could lose him.

Ok, ok, that didn't sound right. But he is my boss, and despite ALL the disadvantages, I really like working for him, and even as much as I love CJ and Sam, I wouldn't want to be with anyone else.

Fine, I'm sounding too mushy for my own taste, and I don't want this diary to turn into a bunch of fluff. Actually, let me rephrase that, I WON'T let this turn into something corny, or overly dramatic, it's supposed to help me relax about the stress of the day.

And speaking of that, in the end he kept his job, everything's ok.

Tomorrow's goal: find out what's up with Sam, I know Josh and him are hiding something, and they should be aware that it won't be long till I find out. Just so I can offer my help, of course!

Now: SLEEP!


	2. Post hoc, The Post it

(Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc)

The Post-it

Real tense today. For the first time in our administration (ok, President Bartlet's, but it's great to be in that "our", even if as a minor participant), for the first time the problem was much more serious than selfish senators, tricky bills or intolerable lobbyists. Today was military, and even though I found out most of the details later through CJ's briefing I could feel the tension in the air, the magnitude of the situation and the rage of the President, which is pretty heartbreaking coming from a normally peaceful and sweet man.

So, what way out did I found for all this negatively charged environment? Gambling. Yeah, I know, I don't earn that much to make bets, but who said anything about goofing around with my own money?  
Hehe, poor Josh, he didn't even complain that much. Ok, he did, but he knew I would still do it, and let me have my fun with it.

At night, after the televised address, and Leo's magic that somehow brought the President back to his normal self and consequently relaxed us all, Josh finally decided to call it a day. He left home smiling weakly, but in a rather suspicious way.  
And just now, while I was cleaning his desk before leaving, I found this piece of paper with a post-it at the back and some basic rules and tips for gambling in sports printed out from some website.

Ok, wait a minute, wait a minute! He knows how to work a printer? He knows how to use the web? What the...?  
Oh, ok. Now I've seen the post-it. Well, that was kind of sweet of him, and as I am done tiding around I can go home and check out these tips. And the post-it? I think I will leave it here, as a souvenir for what I predicted to be an unbearable day.

- - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Donna: I figured if you were so cynically playing with my money you could at least use some sort of guide. Don't make that face, I told an intern to search for this and print it. Night spender!

PS- If I lose again I am SO getting daily coffee!

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	3. The Whole Art of Bantering

_This has some reference to exact quotes in the episodes, so it will make more sense if you've seen them recently, and also you'll be able to tell which parts come from my shippery imagination. (but they **could **have happenned, don't you think?) Also, for those wondering, I am from Mexico, and that might explain some mistakes or my tendency to write looong sentences; I'm used to those in Spanish, my native language. Enjoy and feel free to criticize, give ideas, and also to encourage more chapters! ;)_

* * *

**The Whole Art of Bantering.**

* * *

(A Proportional Response) 

I do know everything, I'm just saying.

Wrote down that I would find out about Sam and I did it, didn't I? although without much detail, but I have a pretty good idea.

And of course, I do make plenty of substantive contributions.

Don't have much time to make sense in here today, (I _do_ have things to work on) but I guess that's an advantage of keeping a diary, just some daily nonsense.

So: It _was_ a typo. And that second time someone was at my boss's office and my not telling him? Of course I didn't care that much, actually, I didn't care at all. But that's it for the day, lets not get sour with thoughts of unpleasant gals.

Oh, and also: he really _can_ "pick 'em." I mean, he picked me, though I didn't give him much of a choice, but if my employment should be any kind of parameter then, well, I'm pretty sure this Charlie guy will turn out to be valuable.

* * *

(Five votes down) 

It's been kind of crazy, with all the running around trying to get the pesky five votes that got away. Of course, it was a very busy day, but I think this sort of issues are exactly the ones my boss likes to fix, he really enjoys this kind of fight. And well, they actually did get the bill passed, but Hoynes (fine, Vicepresident Hoynes) got most of the credit for it.

In assistant's world, the day was, as a matter of fact, very amusing. It was all about the financial disclosure statements, and we all had fun with that. It also gave me some info on one issue that's been bugging me: Mandy. At first I hated seeing her scorn Josh about getting those presents from Sarah Weissenger, but later on, when I asked him jokingly how he ever thought it was a good idea to date her (mandy, not sarah!) I got a good answer. He said, and I quote:

"I've wondered that many times and I have no clue to how did I ever become such a masochist, but surely I will never again fall into that. She was always yelling at me, we would always be fighting and no, not a good-energetic-endearing-and-flirtatious-discussion like the ones w…."

He had been talking real fast, but stopped at that point and looked away from me. Then he started to squirm and shift awkwardly, suddenly spitting out for no reason whatsoever: "The President mixed his pain killers today!" After this statement he began packing as he said we were done for the day and that he would call me later, and then left.

I'll just say: Ha! That made me smile, a lot. I just feel like going over to Mandy and telling her that no matter how cute she thinks her feisty attitude is, she is rather annoying and really doesn't nail down the whole art of bantering!

Ok, I know I can't do that, but it felt good writing it down. And my phone is ringing, so I'd better wrap this up, to have a conversation about smoking jackets and cigarette holders and all that is NOT a colossal waste of time and energy. Good night.


	4. Guilty Face

_Thnks for the reviews, I'm enjoying this.  
Caia, seriously 1am? ok, I'll stop complaining about TWW showing at midnight right now.  
Kursk, antier vi In Excelsis Deo! Espero hacerlo pronto. Great episode, both in and out of the J/D ship, I'm guessing it will be sort of a challenge for me and for this fic when I write that entry._

_And now..._

* * *

(The Crackpots and These Women) 

**Guilty face**

* * *

Ok, I really hate the guilty face, specially when I have no clue as to why it is there. It frightens me, and makes me extremely worried, and kind of left out… 

The day started out pretty normal, I was upset about Donald not calling. Actually, I'm still upset about it, I think I was quite adorable and got him hooked.

The weird thing is I wasn't really thrilled about going out with him, 'cause, truthfully, this "revolving door of local gomers" can get a tad boring at times. But I did expect his call, and when I expressed this very legitimate concern to my boss all I got was a snappy answer, which made this just another regular day.

And then, after he had the meeting with the NSC guy, something just wasn't in place. He avoided to look at me all day, and had the damned guilty face that I couldn't explain. It wasn't until night, when we were all at the chilli feast, that he seemed to get back to normal Josh.

I was getting a drink when he approached me and asked if Donald hadn't call yet. I was pleased he remembered the name, and could tell my answer didn't matter, he was just making light conversation, seemingly happy as if he had recently gotten rid of a burden. It felt great to have him again like that, being able to look me in the eye, and I'm not sure how, but I am certain he shared that same thought.

* * *


	5. The Nanosecond Denial

_Sorry I didn't post during the week, I'll try to write more today so that my updates come more often. Also, this is a multi-entry chapter, seems Donna had a lot to say. Weird, 'cause initially I thought this would be a very quick chapter as I didn't see much material in the episode. Haha, look what I found instead:_

The Nanosecond Denial 

Just want to make it clear that I happen to be a great poker player, as proved three nights ago in that impromptu game in CJ's office that we played in pairs. Carol and I were only there supposedly to help the others practice before the real deal at the end of the week, when they would "bust Toby and Leo like piñatas", according to Sam. Be that as it may, it was because of my impressive skills that Josh and I won that game, so you would think I could get invited to tonight's traditional game. Of course, I get that it's more of a "senior staff and important people" thing, but I really wanted to go. Instead, I get to stay here and finish the Commerce Report while everybody is there playing, so that by the end of it the Deputy Communications Director and the Deputy Chief of Staff come back here to study it. That just sucks, doesn't it?

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Ok, new day, new attitude towards life. No, not really. Yeah, still pissed off about commerce report and no poker. Currently, 10am and Mrs. Landigham just phoned to say that I have to get Joshua out of the Roosevelt Room 'cause The President needs him. Fine

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Well that was… I have no idea why I'm writing this down, it was absolutely nothing. I went in there, told Josh he was needed, and walked him to the Oval while harassing him about the surplus. That's it, right? Except not. I should have just given him a note saying "The President needs to see you". As a matter of fact I had the note with me when I walked in, but then, as Mandy said "there's something for us to gain", I felt the smugness towards me in her look (I swear I'm not delusional, she said "us" in a way that spoke volumes). So, inexplicably, instead of giving it out, I shoved the note into my pocket and slowly leaned into Josh to whisper the message to him. I think we stayed in that moment of closeness a little more than we should have. I even think I hold my breath and have no idea why. It was weird, but it felt good.  
Ok, no, cross that out. What the…? It was a nanosecond for God's sake, Of course it didn't feel good. Yeah, except it did. Now I'm also pissed about that, and should probably go back to work instead of wasting office time in writing nonsense.

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Just great, two nights in a row I'm left out of the fun. Only this time I should be to blame, because I refused the invitation to join the equation doomed to turn into mayhem formed by "the President's daughter, the Chief of Staff's daughter, a Georgetown bar, and Sam". Ok, first of all, I had lots of work to do because I'm considerably behind with my memos as a result of all the diary writing and the nanosecond denial.

Right, and about that, either I'm not the only one reading too much into things or it just happens that I _am_ delusional. Around half an hour after he got back from the Oval Office, Josh asked me to step into his office. (Asked, as in _went to my desk and did not scream_). Once there he closed the door and looked kind of awkward, but gave me some notes on the Census and calls I needed to do about Appropriations. While I wrote it all down, he told me about the President's request in taking Charlie out. At that point I looked up and he said in a weird voice: "Thank you for going in there and telling me I had to go see him".

Isn't that strange? I wanted to say, "It's my job, I do it all the time, what are you talking about?" But as I felt like I knew exactly what he meant, I just nodded, eager to get out of that office. And when I was about to leave he decides to add:

-You should come along.

-What?

-Georgetown bar with all of us?

-Can't

-Fine

-Ok.

-Fine.

I mean, I wanted to go, but I was really angry at him, even if I don't understand why.

So now I'm here organizing meetings, writing some extra notes on the Commerce Report and **not at all **doing the whole _diary babble and going crazy _routine.

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Ok, quick late-night note. I have eight dollars and five cents of "surplus" and one thing I can't seem to get off my mind. What to do?

Well, I'm keeping the change, investing it in something productive like another diary, this one might soon be running out of space. Think about it, and it actually is an investment for Josh, so that I don't go completely nuts and kill him one day.

And about crazy ideas regarding office closeness? Figured if I go in there, give out these sandwiches, and keep whining and bantering as usual, everything will seem normal and I'll be able to push those thoughts to the back of my mind where they'll stay safely and never resurface. Should work like a charm, right?


	6. Bowties sitting on a tree

_sorry for delay, I'm trying to understand semiotics and my exam is on Monday. Reviews please!_

* * *

The State Dinner

* * *

**Bow-ties sitting on a tree...**

Remember I was not thinking anymore about the office closeness issue? Yeah, that ship has absolutely sailed. I mean, are you kidding me with the whole bow tie thing? I know, I've done it many times before, and it's always been a kind of sweet moment. But I swear I've never given it much thought until Carol brought all her "insight" into the picture.

We were having our regular breakfast at the mess, with Margaret and Ginger also there, talking about the excitement of having a State Dinner. Ginger was clever enough to make a comment on how she enjoys seeing Sam in a tux (we all do, honestly, but we still had to tease her about it). But then, I was the suicidal by saying I hated when they had to dress up because it meant I had to help Josh with the tie.

Fine, I'll admit that statement wasn't even in the least believable, but they didn't have to make a whole case out of it. After behaving like schoolgirls making fun about how much I supposedly enjoyed it, Carol told everyone else one of her favorite "Bartlet for America" stories. It's the one about how adorable she found it that sometime during the final months of the campaign,on a formal fund-raiser, I did the bow-tie routine for the first time as if I had done it many times before. According to her narration, I just grabbed Josh's hands and stopped him from nearly choking himself with the tie, to carefully arrange it myself; all this, without missing a beat in some discussion about some nonsense. That was it, but Margaret and Ginger seemed touched by the anecdote, though I don't get why. I was also confused by Carol's final comment before we all went back to work: "The moment I saw that exchange between the two of you I became intrigued. I'm positive it must have left some butterflies going nuts in your stomach".

Ok, Carol is wrong. Sorry, but no. First of all, it was just 41 days after I began working with Josh, not months. (what? I count!). Second, the discussion was about an e-mail from his mother regarding his hair cut (ok, so I have a good memory…). And finally, I had no butterfly ideas at the time. The only thing I recall going through my head once the bow-tie was done relates to my job description. I remember thinking it was weird I refused to get coffee for my boss but automatically jumped in to help him get dressed. I realized it sounded ridiculous even in my mind, but I also noticed that it felt perfectly natural. And even if I had just known the man for 41 days, I got a glimpse of how our relationship would work if I was lucky enough to get the long-term job. But that was as far as my analysis got.

I find it amazing how a thought coming from someone else's mouth can change a whole perspective. Now I'm kind ofanxious as to how I will feel next timeI see my boss and help him get ready.It reminds me of 7th grade and the whole Matt fiasco. Remember that? Best friends, everything was great, then Kelly B. starts singing songs about sitting in trees and it all became weird and awkward and pretty much went to hell. But I digress, it's just that I hope that won't happen here.

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Ok, had nothing to worry about. Or maybe I should have been worrying about "Indonesian" instead of bow-ties. Still,the interaction was not awkward at all, but rather nice, _banterish_, and light. And I even managed to use it in my own defense the first time Josh seemed about to strangle me. I refuse to think more into it, but when I came closer and fixed his tie he immediately calmed down.

That's something I'm _so not _sharing with Carol!


	7. Payback

Enemies

_Ok, for this one my AU side has really taken over. When I began this fic it was supposed to be strictly based on the facts of the episode, but I've enjoyed creating small alternate scnearios. Only that I wouldn't like to take it too far, because I meant for each chapter to still make sense in the light of the next WW episode. Tell me if you think this was too much. Oh, also, something here might not be very realistic, I didn't research that much, and it does sound a little ridiculous. But forgive me for the sake of:_

* * *

**Payback**

It's nearly three in the morning and I'm awake and writing this. Why am I awake and writing this? Yeah, the phone call. My cell starts ringing, I hardly realize what's going on and a voice asks into my ear: "We should go to Shenandoah!" Of course, Joshua.

God, I could kill him. I was really hoping to grab some decent sleep tonight. He babbled about Acadia being often overlooked and when I tried to complain he just said I deserved it for abandoning him tonight. _Abandoning him, _I mean, that's what I call drama. I left at 11pm. We were doing absolutely nothing, so I left. After getting him a soda to stop him from whining about my "tragic departure", I should add. So, I came home while he stubbornly stayed to talk to the President and he paid the consequences.

I try to explain this over the phone but it's useless, three in the morning and both of us are tired and incoherent. He keeps saying I abandoned him with the National Parks-nerd (we really shouldn't call the President that, but it's late), I repeat the time and the inconvenience of his call, but he just tells me: It's payback.

Oh, he'll get payback tomorrow.

* * *

Revenge is sweet. True, using Mandy was not very creative but still quite enjoyable. You see, she's become kind of an inside joke among the staff, and threats about sending someone to talk to Mandy if they don't shut up are common, because really, what could be worse? And of course, this morning Josh comes in saying he had no sleep because of National Parks and that his main request for the day is for me to save him from Mandy. Yeah, well… what do you know? For once,I actually enjoyed leaving them alone in his office.

* * *

I should've known better. I saw the death glare he sent me after letting Mandy in, but really didn't acknowledged it as a menace. Should've known he wanted to get back at me. Of course he didn't because he's not good at it and had to settle with snapping. _Then let's assume that I don't_. And he did it again with _I need it faster_. Really Josh? Yeah, I'm scared, what else? I just want to get out of here, but I have to wait till he's done talking to the President. And even though I know a whole day's work gave him no solution at all he had this weird smiley look before leaving that makes me wonder…

* * *

Again, three o'clock in the morning and I'm awake and writing. But this time for much better reasons. I just got home, actually Josh drove me here. He'll have to pick me up in a couple of hours 'cause my car stayed at the White House. Why was he dropping me off at three in the morning, you ask? Well, if you must know, because it turns out my assistance was helpful and inspirational, and so we took an express celebratory field trip.

After talking to the President I was waiting for him in his office, leaning against his desk, and when he came in he just grabbed me by the shoulders (for a minute I thought he was about to hug me, but seemed like he decided against it), and looking me right in the eye said: "I'm taking you to Shenandoah. Right now". Of course, I thought he had finally lost it, but he told me: "You were great today, you worked hard like you always do, but you were also the inspiration I needed to find some light. We were trapped and you saved us. I'm taking you to Shenandoah, grab your purse".

I know, I should have pointed out the inconveniences and impossibilities of his plan, but I really found it hard to say no. Next thing I know, he's driving us to Shenandoah. Sounds ridiculous? Well, it was. And it wasn't. I knew he felt relieved about solving the crisis of the day, but he also seemed bugged by something else. I felt it was a little about Mandy's comment after leaving his office, and in the calmed silence of the road I thought about it.

When he got there I surely felt a little dumb, of course it was closed, and dark, and cold and pretty late and far away from our work.

Then, it didn't feel so stupid when we finally found a bench in the outer part that had a fairly illuminated vista. We sat there as Josh handed me an ice-cream and he opened the other. He just said "Stole them earlier from the Mess". The atmosphere felt a little weird so I used some key tools in our dynamics: I complained about the flavor and told him marshmellow was a very childish ice-cream. He answered only by saying it was his favorite, but he also smiled broadly at my comment and I felt better. That's when I decided to try talking about what I guessed were the real things on his mind:

_-_Josh, you are fighting the fights you get, the ones you can. And you **are** fighting for the right reasons. Because I know you, all of you, and you are ultimately doing it for the people. It's not about enemies. It's about the reasons that brought us all here.

-Thanks Donna. But now that you mention reasons, why is it again that you dragged me here at this ungodly hour?

-You dragged **me**! But if you want to convince yourself of the opposite, then consider it my final payback, bringing you here.

-Works for me.

(long pause, then he sighs, leans back and lets out a smile putting his arm a little around me, but not quite. At this point the night wind and the smell of trees really fill the air, so different from what we are used to breathing in the city. And I might be imagining things, but I thought I heard an owl just before Josh spoke again)

-God, I never thought I would admit this. I mean, I had tried it before, and never appreciated it… but the President was right.

-When?

-When he said I would enjoy nature.


End file.
